Resistance, Learning, and Emotional Intelligence

I had some interesting experiences at last week's Great Ideas Conference in Orlando, Florida, so I plan on a couple of posts to talk about what I learned.

At the beginning of the conference, I noticed that several of the people who had recently attended ASAE & The Center's recent board and leadership meeting were talking a lot about new business models. This was apparently a hot topic at these meetings, which I think is great, because the association community seems to be a bit behind the curve on that topic (and that is putting it mildly). I was relieved to hear many different people (all of whom I consider to be top-notch thinkers in the field) excited about the prospect of exploring new models.

Then reality hit when I attended the sessions. In many of the web 2.0 related sessions and specifically in one session that was specifically exploring membership models from OUTSIDE the association world, the resistance was overwhelming. There were lots of people immediately turning to the "but here's why that won't work for associations" argument. Several even seemed to be angrily denouncing the new models, arguing that they weren't good enough, because they didn't seem to value the basis of the old model (and they didn't seem to see the circular nature of that logic).

What struck me the most about all of this was the emotional charge to the discussion. There was a palpable emotional attachment to the old models. There didn't seem to be a willingness to move towards the new models, explore them, or be curious about them. No one was asking people to close down their association and build a new one from scratch (not that there's anything wrong with that idea, though!). But even mere curiosity about the new ideas seemed threatening.

It makes me think. There is a lot about what we are doing in our work to which we have developed an emotional attachment that doesn't particularly serve us. Emotional energy at work can be a good thing, of course. It can be motivating and sustaining. I think it's great when people feel strongly about their organizations or love doing their work. But it can also be blinding. It can prevent you from seeing new or different things, and it can pull you towards activities or approaches that no longer fit the current reality (but still make you feel good!).

Part of emotional intelligence is being aware of how these factors are at play. And that includes choosing to sometimes examine things that your gut says are wrong, bad, or a mistake. Those close to me know that one of my favorite phrases is "I'm not convinced." When someone is suggesting something that I don't think is the correct or most effective way to do things, I try to stay open to their point of view as much as I can (without just caving in and agreeing to everything all the time), and I often do that by temporarily ending a conversation with "I'm not convinced." It lets me disagree with them while at the same time being open, after thinking about it, to being convinced. I become less defensive and more open to hearing their points and their perspective.

Comments

[Jim Stroup]

Jamie,

My vote for key line, in the overall context of your post: "But it can also be blinding." And, sometimes, it's easier to just go along and join the conceptually blinded than to try to maintain your ability to consciously pick out your landmarks and a way to them.

Your reference to a part of emotional intelligence being the understanding and ability to detect these dynamics in action is right on the money. Its lack lies behind many striking failures by managers otherwise perceived as "geniuses."

Thanks for a great topic - a great catch from your conversations - and great presentation of it.

[Dave S.]

Jamie,

I can't help but wonder how many opportunities we lose because our minds are made up about them even before we give them a chance to resonate with us. This is especially poignant in the association world. I can't tell you how many times hear "we can't do that" or see hostile reactions to ideas as they are presented. Is it the fact that human nature gravitates toward stability and anything that takes away our equilibrium is viewed as a potential threat or is it simply because we have learned to resist change as a matter of self-preservation. Regardless, I think we are missing out on many great opportunities to learn, grow, explore and improve.

I think what is more concerning, especially in your reference above is that the reaction was likely driven by fear of the unknown and with little consideration how the change/changes could create member value. After all, isn't that why we are in the association business?

Great post and a really positive way to illustrate an area that each and everyone of us can learn and grow.

[Russ A]

I think there are 2 levels of emotional attachment in non-profits. The primary level is with the executive who manages the process and the second with the member or volunteer who has in invested money, ego and influence in doing things a certain way. Both levels have to be in harmony for fundamental change to have a chance to occur. So many times the "we can't do that" syndrome comes from a lack of desire to change things at certain time depending on what else is going on in the organization. Change requires gathering and expending political capital.
It is not always a fear of change attitude by the Executive that hampers change but it may be many other factors taking place in an organization.

[Russ A]

I think there are 2 levels of emotional attachment in non-profits. The primary level is with the executive who manages the process and the second with the member or volunteer who has in invested money, ego and influence in doing things a certain way. Both levels have to be in harmony for fundamental change to have a chance to occur. So many times the "we can't do that" syndrome comes from a lack of desire to change things at certain time depending on what else is going on in the organization. Change requires gathering and expending political capital.
It is not always a fear of change attitude by the Executive that hampers change but it may be many other factors taking place in an organization.