How Important Is Being Right?

Patti Digh said this today on Twitter: "What would happen if we could give up our attachment to being right?"

A powerful question, I think. And it reminded me that I had wanted to post about this topic. Before I went on vacation, I read a great post from Jim Stroup (whose blog is a giant VAT of great post about leadership by the way) where he was assessing the state of the dialogue about the meaning/definition of leadership. Here's his conclusion:

Here's where we are: No one knows.

Really. There is no consensus about what leadership even is, much less about who is a leader or what one does. Moreover, there is no commonly held vocabulary that facilitates productive discussion of the topic. And still, every voice emerging from this cacophony is imbued with unshakable certainty that it is the one with the answer.

That is a major problem: the assertion of certainty in an effort to distract attention from its absence.

Being right and having the (singular) answer is so important to us, that sometimes it can be distracting. Coming up with right answers is important, of course. If we didn't have the discipline to find right answers, our bridges would collapse. But there are times when it doesn't serve us. Where we need to simultaneously entertain multiple right answers. It may feel messy, but it can generate powerful insight and learning.

(P.S. I just discovered that Jim did a whole SERIES of posts about leadership and conflict--while I was on vacation! Reactions coming soon)

Comments

[Sue Pelletier]

I came to the conclusion very early on that there really is no "right" answer to anything. Whatever the situation is, the best solution is going to keep shifting, depending on changing circumstances, people involved, weather--you name it.

So I don't even try to be right. I try to be open-minded enough to be able to sort through all the possible solutions to find one that will work best for that one situation at that one point in time, knowing that it likely will change and what was right will not be quite-so-right anymore. I'm OK with that.

Plus, what's so great about being right, anyway? You have to spend all your time defending your position of rightfulness, proving others are wrong, all that fun stuff.

Of course, I'm probably wrong about all this. I'm OK with that, too!

[Jim Stroup]

Hello Jamie,

I clicked over here as I always do when you post, but this time particularly intrigued by the post title. I had not expected to see such a kind reference in this context to my piece, for which I am very grateful.

It is interesting, though, isn't it? Your juxtaposition of the need to find right answers (or our "bridges would collapse") with the need to sometimes "simultaneously entertain multiple right answers" is a real poser - it touches on the current theoretical collisions in physics being caused by quantum mechanics. This is stuff that needs more examination in management.

Here's another winning line, from Sue's comment: ". . . what's so great about being right, anyway?" There's a series of posts, for you!

Thanks again for your kindness - and for you insightful take on Patti's observation!

[Ben Martin, CAE]

J-Nott, I think you're totally wrong about this. But you're probably okay with that. :-D